Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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