if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
