Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
someone owes me an orgasm
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
