I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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