I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
