Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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