I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
