oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Randomize
