my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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