Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
