He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
