We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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