doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
