My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
