How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
