i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's blow job season.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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