With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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