Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
