her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think your dad took our porno
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
