I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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