No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
