One girl and one boy is just not enough.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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