Your tits are I can't wait for
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
