All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
