what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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