No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
