so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
