Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
