I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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