trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
