nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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