I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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