Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
