hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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