Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
