Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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