is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize
