I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I deserve this hangover.
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