And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
