so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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