Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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