i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
