can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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