The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Randomize
