your parents love me but you hate me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
