Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
50% drunk capacity currently
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
