watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
