i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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