come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
