I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
